Saturday, June 27, 2009

as of right now...

our friendship has ended. im use to you not being there in my life anymore. i feel like im not responsible to apologize to you first when i dont regret anything ive said or how everything came out to be. Youve ruined everything and lost a lot. you dont even try to make anything better or work. you basically chose him over your bestfriends. you've given up on us, so ive given up on you. what you did was no where right and your apologize dont come close to sincere. i dont even know if you know what you "think" youre apologizing for. everything we say to you isnt judging or anything bad, but for your own good cause youve lost yourself through the obstacles that got you tangled and lead you to the wrong direction. Youre the total opposite of what made you YOU. youve become a person who i wouldnt associate my life with and now i dont. youve sacrificed all of this for him, i hope he's worth it cause obviously you think our friendship isnt worth it anymore.

Friday, February 20, 2009


a man who is only in love will lose interest. if he truly loves, he'll stay.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

i strive for...

a better looking body. im tired of looking at myself as the "fat" girl. i want to lose DRAMATICCCCCCC weight by 4 months. thats basically when summer starts and long is having his prom around that time. i wanna finally look good in a dress and not stress out about how everyone will think i look or if im fat to them or not. my goal is to lose about 15 pounds a month. i think thats do-able. i will have to get on the elliptical EVERYDAY well hmm maybe not weekends. ill just do some workouts in my room for those days. Plus i have to watch what i eattt. ill eat a fruit every morning with some pills and water OR tea and then when i come home ill drink some tea or just water depends what i drank when i went to school. oh and munch on 5 little meals a day. i think?

drink pills
1 fruit
elliptical for 30 minutes or more
munch on another fruit
elliptical for another 30 mins or more
more hw

goal weight :110-115 pounds
current weight: 160 pounds

im gonna start tomorrow! IM REALLYYYYYY SERIOUSSSS ABOUT THIS. i wanna change. i wanna be that hot girl of HIS dreams. i wanna be the pretty child not the fat one. i want to gain more self confidence. i wanna be seen as gorgeous beautiful sexy not just cute -_-. i wanna be able to go to the store and look around and not worry about whether or not it might not fit around my arms or if itll make me look bigger or fatter. i wanna wear whatever clothes i think look cute on the hanger and have it STILL look cute on my body. i dont want to feel ashame to go to longs family parties and think that everyones looking at me thinking why is he dating her.i dont want to feel like longs ashame of dating me. i dont want to keep hiding my body with sweaters longs sleeves cardigans jackets. i wanna wear a tank top a short sleeve shirt lingerie for long and not worry about what everyone thinks nad how my body looks. i really wanna change. i wanna see the pounds melt off the clothes fitting and getting looser. i wanna hear the compliments people give saying how im looking good. i wanna be happy again. i want the body that would make both me and long happy. i want more self confidence.

Monday, February 2, 2009

morning sunshine

you're the thought that starts each morning
the conclusion to each day
you are in all that i do
and everything i say
you're the smile on my face
the twinkle in my eye
the warmth inside my heart
the fullness in my life
you're the hand that's laced in mine
and the coat upon my back
my friend my love
my shoulder to lean on
you're my silly mature caring
thoughtful bright and honest guy
the one who holds me tightly
when i need to cry
you're the dimple in my cheek
the ever-constant tingle in my soul
the voice that makes me weak
the happiness of my life
you are all i've wanted
you are all i need
you are all i've dreamed of
you are all of this to me...

i love you.